… and how we deal with it in the pagan community. It’s a word that is thrown around an awful lot. Sometimes too much, I think. Why? Well, people tend to take the thing about themselves that is ‘different’ and decide that it’s the reason why they got fired, or they never get asked out on dates, or their friends avoid them, or whatever. Sometimes is has absolutely nothing to do with how you’re different. Maybe you got fired because you were always late. Maybe you never get asked out because you’re a bitch. Just because you’re different doesn’t automatically mean you are being discriminated against, or that anyone really cares about it. I think that most people really don’t care that you are different if you don’t actually go out of your way to point it out to them, and I think that there is little reason to do such.
For example, I have a friend (who isn’t pagan, btw) who likes to point out at every opportunity how she is divergent from the mainstream. Sales tactics don’t work on her. Vanilla sex is boring and awful. No, that isn’t how she thinks about the earth rotating around the sun. And she certainly isn’t as weak willed as you are. Now, I love her a lot, but this does get very old very fast. I have tried to figure out many times why she says these things, and why it is so important for us to know how she is different. I’ve had some conversations with this girl, and I know that’s not how she confides in others. I don’t know if she wants to lash out at ‘the man,’ if she doesn’t want to have any sort of visible vulnerability, if she’s just being contrary, or if everything she says really is true. Well, alright. I believe it’s true, but I suppose I question her motivations behind it sometimes. Why this story? Because I see pagans doing this quite frequently. We all know someone like this, who has a neon ‘I AM DIFFERENT!’ sign over their head and if someone misses the sign, well they are willing to tell them all about it.
I actually ran into very oppressed people when I worked at a metaphysical store. There would be people who came in who were worried about being different, and I loved talking with them. I was able to reassure them that they weren’t crazy or strange, and what they were feeling and experiencing was unique to them yet completely normal. Then there were the people who pointedly did not do things the same way others did. They were oppositional to whatever you said, and I think a few of them were just contrary people.
Now, not everyone who’s incredibly contrary likes to cry ‘Oppression!’ at every opportunity. Really, it’s just a trend I’ve noticed. My own thoughts behind it? The people who feel this way would feel this way no matter where they were at that point. Our lives shapes how we feel about this sort of thing. It is something to keep in mind the next time you are thinking about blaming your current situation on being pagan, however. Not everything s completely tied in with that. Can it happen? Sure, but be mindful. We find the reasons and justifications we want to find.
